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The Struggle Men Face in Sharing Their Feelings
Whatever this dude is feeling? I'm not.
I’m such a dude. Or at least that’s what I get told at least three or four times a week by my boobed friends. And it’s very true.
Do you remember that Miller Lite commercial where the dude explains why he loves his Miller Lite but can’t explain why he loves his woman, but when he asks here she has an answer, like, right away?
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Yeah, that’s me all day. I’m just P everyday. I don’t know why I’m like that but I am. Actually that’s not true; I’m like that because I’m a dude.
Take for instance the hip-hop conversation that Obsidian and I had yesterday in the comments. I can’t speak for the homey, but I’d assume that it was just a simple matter of rattling off things and opinions that he holds just like it was for me. It didn’t take a second thought for me to form any of those lengthy ideas I had. Hip-hop is a passion of mine. I’m a hip-hop head. I’m a music snob. I’m a music head to the nth degree. I can (and do) talk about and argue about music, especially hip-hop, all the live long day.
If I hear a song that I like I can break it down and tell you what about it I love from vocal arrangements to the horn arrangements. I’m able to explain the song in context to other songs of its time, even able to generally determine who was responsible for the production. Basically, the way The Champ is about basketball is the way I am about music. It’s just what I do.
But ask me to talk about something emotional and I clam up. I stumble over myself trying to find words that I know I know but can’t seem to recall. Or I’m unable to give more than a cursory explanation for how I feel. It’s quite odd actually. One of the most difficult questions for me to answer about myself or about somebody else is how did that make you feel? Or how do you feel about?
Good.
Great.
Cool.
I’m straight.
I’m a dude.
I know that women are taught to run towards their emotions from an early age and boys are taught that emotions are for girls. But I get emotional over music. I want to hump songs and propose to them. I remember where I was the the first time I heard Outkast’s “Elevators” because it impacted me so much. There’s a part of Rick Ross’s song “Magnificent” where the music’s ethereal backing track and Ross’s shoutout to fallen comrade Shakir Stewart just seems…right, and it gets me every time. I pay attention and think to myself damn that just sounds so well placed like that beat was made for that line. “T.R.O.Y.” gets me E-V-E-R-Y time. The horns actually move me. And don’t get me started on Phyllis Hyman’s voice.
Chile, please.
See what I just did there?
And yet when I’ve tried to state what makes somebody special I trip all over myself and feel like a total dork. I actually get self-conscious about what I’m saying.
I’m such a dude. I’m cool, you know.
The same way chicks can’t make decisions, I can’t speak on my emotions very articulately and effectively. It ain’t even personal, I just suck at it. Unless I get the chance to just write them out over time. Now, I realize this is more or less a man thing, thought not all men are afflicted with this inability. But I do find it interesting that I’m pretty much a writer who has difficulty drifting into my emotions when it comes to something personal. Though, maybe I shouldn’t since a lot of people have the problem. Me no know.
All I know is that I’m such a dude. And I’m often amazed at how easily women are able to express their feelings for and about the men in their lives. It’s just like second nature and easy to do. All I got is…ditto.
Yeah, what you said.
Ladies, is it frustrating to you if your man cannot share his emotions about you with you but can ramble aimlessly, yet articulately, for hours about sports, music, and pr0n? Basically, anything but you? If so, why does it bother you? And to the fellas, are you able to articulate your emotions with the woman in your life? If not, why do you think that is?
Basically people, what’s the man-woman split on emotions?