Výukový systém Ústřední školy ČOS
Girls in Love With Their Best Guy Friends
Looking For Single Women in the US? Try Loveawake Dating Site
My dear lady friends…. this is coming from a place of love. I am giving you the following advice because, gosh darn it, I have been there. I know how this story ends and you can trust me when I say, you don’t want to be that girl…
Which “that girl” am I referring to? The “that girl” who is in love with her best guy friend. You know, the girl who jumps at his beckon call, goes everywhere with him and does anything for him. The same girl who takes 400 pictures with said guy friend and uploads them all to Facebook to break-up the 30 something wall posts she’s left on his wall. The girl who is content to sit on the sidelines and mean-mug every girl her guy friend dates because she is sure that one day he is going to realize, hellooooo, he’s got the whole package right in front of him…. Yes, that girl.
I was recently reminded of my time as that girl when I became Facebook friends with the text-happy boy from my previous posts. Now, that kind sir and I have since parted ways (although not before I got a good makeout session out of him) but, fortunately, he is still providing me with blog fodder thanks to his “best” girlfriend.
I originally met this girl at The Texter’s birthday party and I knew instantaneously that she had the hots for him. Signs were as follows:
1.She was wearing an excepitionally short skirt in the middle of winter
2. She was hanging all over him and taking one million pictures with him and
3. she spent the majority of the evening giving me dirty looks.
Despite all this, I can honestly say, I wasn’t that concerned with her. As obvious as it was that she was putting a ton of effort into getting his attention, it was equally obvious that he had a complete lack of romantic interest in her. In fact, he described her to me as, “the girl who answers my phones…”
Fastforward to a few weeks later when we became Facebook friends and I see that pretty much every single one of his pictures from the last year was tagged by her and came with some “cute” caption about being besties or including a <3. I also see that on the few pictures that weren’t tagged by her, she had commented and/or liked pretty much every single one. And then there was the wall itself… links, wall posts, likes and comments – one after the other – all from this girl and only half of which even received a response from him.
When I looked at all this I just felt sad for her because I have SO been her. I’ve been there where you think, ohhh these poor girls your best guy friend is dating. They are all so dumb because he is secretly in love with you. And you think one day, for sure, he is going to finally cross that line and you’ll have the ultimate relationship – friendship + sex. And you just keep the dream alive, pining away as he dates girl after girl while he takes you on Target runs and stays up late at night talking to you about his family and his dreams. You don’t feel weird about peeing all over his Facebook wall, because gosh darn it, this is practically a relationship and none of these other girls matter anyway. They are probably so jealous of you, right?
No. Wrong.
Guess what, best girl friend… he’s not sleeping with you. And he is sleeping with all those other girls. So nothing else matters! You are the one who looks dumb, not them. And even though he’s giving you all this attention, and even though he tells you how awesome you are, and brings you along to join him with everything he’s doing – he doesn’t like you. He likes feeling adored. You, my dear, are the most convenient girlfriend ever… you feed his ego, you are available anytime he feels lonely, and yet you can’t get mad at him when he goes out and bangs hot dumb chicks. Who wouldn’t like that?
Now I know what some of you are thinking, well he’s not sleeping with me yet but I KNOW he likes me – everyone says so. And to that I say, yep, been there too. You know what happened? We finally slept together and then he met a girl the very next morning who he has been dating ever since. I shit you not – they live together.
Soooo word to the wise, even if you do finally hook up, you probably still won’t win. Best friendships that turn into working relationships are few and far between and I’d venture to guess that in most cases the relationship started as an actual friendship. You know, one where one of you was not obviously in love with the other…
The reality is, most of the “that girls” who read this post are so deep in denial that they won’t even recognize that this is about them. Sad for them. But for the few of you reading and thinking, oh crap, that kind of sounds like me – fret not. I have a couple of key pieces of advice for you:
I can tell you from experience, being a bitch to his girlfriend/(s)… not the way to go. My ex-bestie no longer talks to me because his girlfriend hates me. I can also tell you that you should pump the brakes on the public displays of affection (Facebook or otherwise). You aren’t his girlfriend. I know it feels that way, but you aren’t. And really, you are just embarrassing yourself.
And finally, and probably most importantly, I’d recommend you step back and take a hard look at this guy – is he worth this? Any guy that is willing to string along a girl who is so obviously head over heels for him raises a big red flag in my book. Clearly this is an insecure guy who needs his ego petted and who isn’t concerned with whom he hurts. What a selfish ass! This isn’t appropriate friend behavior and truly, it reflects poorly on him.
In the end,regardless of what you do, liking someone who doesn’t like you in that way, sucks. It sucks even more when it is a friendship that you truly value. But what I am hoping to help you accomplish here, is dealing with this shitty situation in the least dramatic way. Simply living in denial about the true nature of your relationship will only keep you from finding other, real relationships, while getting you laughed at by his girlfriends. And please believe, you owe it to yourself to know that you are much too awesome for that.